“I can’t believe I used to think a curl cream or an oil would solve my frizz.”
“I used to think I had to make it seven days without washing.”
“If I just follow her routine, I’ll finally get results like hers.”
“I don’t diffuse because I don’t want damage.”

These are real things my Curl Coaching clients and YouTube community said when I asked what they wish they had known before they started. The same five things kept coming up over and over.

These are not mistakes. They are blind spots — things you couldn’t have known without someone in your corner. The curly hair industry has been pointing you in the wrong direction. None of this is your fault.

​

#1: I Thought More Moisture Would Fix My Frizz

One of the most common things I hear from new clients: “I can’t believe I spent years thinking my hair was dry when it just needed more hold.”

It makes sense why this happens. Every brand, every method, every curly hair creator pushes moisture. When hair looks frizzy or dull, the instinct is to add more — and the entire industry reinforces that instinct.

❌ What This Looked Like

• Avoiding strong shampoos, thinking they were too stripping
• Deep conditioning constantly
• Not fully rinsing out conditioner
• Only using leave-ins and curl creams
• Reaching for heavily conditioning botanical brands with very little hold
• Applying popular finishing oils — like Olaplex No. 7 or Verb Ghost Oil — to try to tame frizz

That last one comes up constantly. Finishing oils add moisture to hair that already needs hold. They can make frizz worse, not better.

✅ The Fix

Frizz and dryness are not the same thing — and they do not have the same fix. It’s important to understand how moisture and hold work together.

• Frizz from lacking hold usually feels soft. No structure, but not damaged.
• True dryness feels brittle — almost like it might break. Less flexible, more tangly.

Both look duller in color. Both have frizz. The feel is the tell.

This matters most on day two or three. When hair looks dull and flat, the instinct is to reach for a cream or leave-in. But if the hair feels soft, that instinct is making it worse. That is a hold problem, not a dryness problem.

If you have been reaching for more conditioning products every time you see frizz, you may have been treating the wrong problem.

Conditioning products like creams, leave-ins, foams, and oils soften the hair; they do not provide frizz control. They can coat the hair and weigh it down, but that is not as effective as the film that creates a cast that controls frizz.

Instead, you need to minimize your moisture and finish off with product with hold, such as a gel.

I cover this in detail in my Moisture-Hold Balance Framework post.

#2: I Was Styling for the Hair I Wished I Had & Overcomplicating Routines

Almost every new client has said some version of this: “I want my hair to be curlier, tighter, fuller — or I want it to look like your hair.”

A lot of people find me or other creators because they like our results. They hire a coach, follow her routine, and expect her hair. But curly hair does not work that way.

❌ What This Looked Like

• Doing steps without knowing why they exist or whether they apply to their hair, such as plopping, because they saw it in a video
• Restyling every day trying to recreate wash day results
• Copying a six-product TikTok routine step by step without understanding why any of those steps exist
• Using a brush designed for tighter curl patterns on wavy or low density hair — creating tension and manipulation their hair did not need
• Doing extensive sections and brush coils because that is what they saw someone with a tighter curl pattern doing

✅ The Fix

For waves and looser curls, less manipulation is almost always better. Sometimes the most powerful technique is also the simplest — scrunching. Not five sections. Not brush coils. Just scrunching.

My clients came to me using six, seven, sometimes eight products. Once we stripped back to what their hair actually needed, most of them now style with two.

And what’s interesting is that most of my clients end up using variations of the same small set of combinations — it’s not a thousand custom routines, it’s a handful of pairings that consistently work across different hair types.

Product Combos That Most My Clients Use

Soft Finish Hair

1. Living Proof Leave-In​
2. Curlsmith Fragrance-Free Strong Hold Gel​

or

1. NYM Curl Talk Leave-In​
2. NYM Flash Freeze Gel​

Rough Finish Hair

1. Curlsmith Miracle Shield​
2. AG Liquid Effects Gel​

or

1. Ouidad Advanced Climate Control Stronger Hold Gel — one and done

The goal is not a different routine. It is understanding the why behind what you are doing — so you can take what works for your hair and leave what does not. That discernment is what coaching builds.

#3: I Thought Adding a New Product Would Finally Fix It

In every coaching group, I hear some version of this: “I feel like it needs something else. Maybe if I add a mousse.” Or: “What products will make my hair curlier?”

I made a video on that last question that almost went viral. The answer — it is not the product that’s going to make your hair “curlier.” It is the technique. And yet the comments were still full of people asking which one to buy.

❌ What This Looked Like

• Adding unnecessary products such as “curl enhancer” serum under gel for more definition — when the gel already has those same curl-enhancing properties
• Layering a mousse thinking it adds hold — most mousses and foams just dilute your gel’s hold with their high water and conditioning content
• Buying something new every few weeks because the current routine is not working — while the technique has not changed once

My clients are always surprised when I cut products from their routines and have them buy less rather than more.

✅ The Fix

Most of the time the products are fine. The application and styling technique are the problem.

Start by stripping back to the basics — a prep product and a strong hold gel — and see what your results actually look like without the extra layers. Most people are surprised by how much better their curls perform with less.

For technique specifically, I cover exactly how to style for your curl pattern in my video on how to make your hair look its curliest. That is where the real fix lives.

And if you want someone to actually watch you style and tell you what needs to change — that is what I do with my clients in our guided styling sessions.

#4: I Had No Idea How Often I Should Actually Be Washing

Most people set their wash day schedule based on habit or something they read online. The two most common patterns I see pull in opposite directions.

❌ What This Looked Like

Under-washing:

• Pushing to 7-8 days because they believed less washing was better for curls
• Tangles building up progressively between wash days
• Hair feeling dry or weighed down with buildup
• Results getting worse each day without understanding why

Over-washing:

• Curls not lasting more than a day or two
• Washing more frequently trying to reset
• Stuck in a cycle — washing more but never solving why the style was not lasting

✅ The Fix

For under-washers — washing more frequently such as every 4-5 days, is often the fix. That is usually the last thing they expect to hear.

For over-washers — washing more is not the fix. It is a symptom. The real problem is why the style is not lasting in the first place. Some lifestyles require frequent washing and that’s OK. What I’m referring to is those that are rewashing because they don’t like their day 2 results.

Dialing in the right frequency for your specific hair takes trial and error. The answer is different for everyone and requires working backwards from what the hair is actually doing. That is exactly the kind of thing we figure out inside coaching.

#5: I Avoided Heat Completely Because I Thought It Was Damaging

Everything most people have been taught about heat damage comes from straightening — hot tools, flat irons, curling irons on high heat. So they apply that same rule to diffusing. But diffusing is nothing like flat ironing.

❌ What This Looked Like

• Air drying exclusively because heat felt risky
• Hair taking hours to dry, staying wet and heavy for too long
• Curl elongating under its own weight — less volume, less shape, more friction on the strands
• Trying diffusing once, getting frizz, and giving up — without knowing the frizz came from technique or the wrong tool, not the heat itself

When people get frizz or damage from diffusing, the cause is almost never the heat. It is usually:

• A dryer running too hot
• Hovering instead of pressing and lifting
• The wrong diffuser design for their hair type

✅ The Fix

Diffusing with the right tool, the right technique, and a heat protectant is not damaging. The gentle heat locks in the curl shape — the same principle as using a curling iron versus a blowout. The heat sets the shape so it lasts. Leaving hair wet for extended periods can actually be harder on the hair than diffusing properly.

My recommendations include:

• Heat protectant: Curlsmith Miracle Shield — low conditioning so it does not weigh hair down or soften hold
• Diffuser: Curlsmith Defrizzion with XXL Diffuser — runs cooler than standard dryers, fits most of the hair at once, designed for the pressing and lifting motion that sets curl shape without frizz. Travel version available for shorter or finer hair.

​Curlsmith Miracle Shield Heat Protection Spray​

​Curlsmith Defrizzion Hair Dryer & XXL Diffuser​

If you are struggling with elongation, lack of volume, or curls that do not hold their shape — diffusing is probably the missing piece. If you have tried it and gotten frizz, the technique needs adjusting, not the habit. Full how-to is in my diffusing video here. Inside coaching, I can watch you diffuse in real time and catch the small adjustments that make the biggest difference.

The Through Line Across All Five

When I look at all five together — the moisture myth, the routine copying, the product shopping, the wash day guesswork, the heat avoidance — there is one thing they all have in common.

It is not the wrong products. It is not the wrong routine. It is not bad hair.

You can’t fix what you can’t diagnose — and you can’t diagnose what you’ve never been shown how to read.

The thing my clients tell me most often after their first few weeks: “I’m just paying more attention now.” That is it. That is what coaching gives you — the framework for knowing what to look at, what it means, and what to do about it. You cannot build that from YouTube alone.

Here’s what some of my clients said:

Ready to Stop Guessing?

If any of these sounded familiar, that is exactly why my Curl Coaching Program exists.

My summer program is open for enrollment now through June 15, and spots are limited. This is where we figure out your specific variables — your hair, your routine, your results — so you stop guessing and start actually understanding what your hair needs.

If you want to start with the moisture and hold piece first, my Moisture-Hold Balance Framework post walks through exactly how to build a balanced routine.

Tell me in the comments which one of these blind spots you fell victim to — or if you have another one to add.