How to Style Curls that Fall Flat, Don’t Last, or Are Overly Soft


If your curls fall limp, frizz, struggle to hold a curl, or feel too soft and flat, then you need a to make these teaks to styling routine.

Here I am sharing all my best tips and what to avoid for fine hair, or those with overly soft, silky curls. No matter what type of hair you have, you can still benefit from this routine if you’re struggling with your curls not lasting.

I’m also using mostly drugstore products. Don’t miss step #3 where I share the most critical swap you likely need to make.

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Use strong shampoos & lightweight conditioners

It is important to get a thorough cleanse and not weigh down your hair with heavy conditioners

Clarify on a regular basis, such as 1-2 times per month.

For your regular shampoos, make sure they are strong enough to actually cleanse your hair and are not depositing conditioning ingredients.

For conditioner and deep conditioner, opt for lightweight options.

Mielle Organics Mongongo Oil Exfoliating Shampoo
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More strong shampoos

Incorporate protein in your routine

Protein and bond-builders can help the hair retain its structure and strength.

Today I used a new mask that I’ve been testing out from Dove, and have enjoyed it so far. It’s very softening and silky feeling because it has silicone, so it may not be right for you if your hair is already very soft. However it is high in proteins so I wanted to include it for this wash day.

For a more lightweight option, try the Briogeo mask.

#1 Reduce water weights

Try reducing the amount of water in your hair if you’re experiencing hair that falls quickly or if you’re struggling to get a cast.

Most people will say you should styling soaking wet, but this isn’t the case for all hair types.

Water is heavy, especially when you’re adding in moisturizing products. The more water in your hair, the more you’re diluting your gel and reducing hold.

Since it’s true that water prevents stringiness and frizz, I still mist water as I go but I’m not drenching my hair. This allows you to customize the amount of water.

#2 Skip creams, or opt for lightweight leave-in

Just like water, any creamy, moisturizing product like styling creams, leave-in conditioners, and even your regular rinse-out conditioner can weigh down your hair and reduce your hold.

Try going straight to gel at this step for maximum hold.

For the most lightweight way to get in some extra moisture, go with a spray leave-in conditioner. Avoid anything with a lot of oils and butters high on the ingredients list.

Leave-in conditioners are going to be a bit more lightweight than curl creams.

I recommend the Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk Leave-In Conditioner because it pairs nicely with their hard hold gel (more on that below).

Options:

  • Apply just a gel
  • Leave-in + gel

Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk Leave-In Conditioner
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Can’t find this one? Here are some others I like as well.

#3 Use a strong-hold styler with grit

This step is the most important because if you’re using the wrong styling product, or just using a cream, your curls are going to fall after just a few hours and definitely not last until the next day, requiring so much refreshing.

Avoid styling products that are very slippery and soften the hair, such as the Ouidad gel, AG gel, and others that I often recommend. I use those because my hair is medium-coarse and feels brittle and stiff, so I look for softening products.

However, with hair that falls easily and doesn’t hold, you want more grit in your products. Grit is that sticky or tacky feeling that some products leave in your hair. This gives it some grip and can also increase your hold.

Usually gels that have grit are those with a thicker texture.

I’ve selected the Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk Hard Hold Gel. If you use this gel, make sure it’s the one that has a level 5 hold, not the original which is a level 3. That is not going to provide enough long-lasting hold unless if hold and frizz are not something you struggle with.

NYM just re-named this gel the Flash Freeze Gel, but I confirmed that the ingredients are still the same.

Since this is a thicker gel, I often will mix it with a little water to help it spread better. If you’re already styling soaking wet, skip this so you don’t reduce the hold too much.

Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk Hard Hold Hair Gel
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More gels with grit

Another option is to use your favorite gel, such as a more slippery gel, but then add in a texturizing/gritty product.

There are lot of styling product combinations you can try.

Options:

  • Just gel
  • Leave-in + gel, mousse, or hairspray
  • Texturizer + gel, mousse, or hairspray
  • Leave-in + texturizer + gel, mousse, or hairspray

If this gel is too thick for you, try the Curl Talk Mousse. It’s strong hold as well and is easy to apply.

Some people may find that instead of using a gel, they can use just a hairspray to style their curls. Hairspray is going to be the strongest hold and more lightweight option because they contain little to no moisture. If you go this route, opt for a water-based hairspray so you can mist it on wet hair as you’re styling.

#4 Style for small clumps

I love brush styling because it increases the longevity of my hair and prevents it from looking stringy after wash day. However if your clumps are too thick, they will be heavy and may just elongate.

Separate them with your hands or use a brush that does it for you like the Bounce Curl Volume Brush.

You don’t have to do anything too complicated, just brush through in sections with a bit of tension.

The more defined your curls are, they longer they will last.

If you have wavy hair, you may not see a huge difference with brush styling and could skip it, or just use it to smooth frizz and encourage clumps.

Options:

  • Brush styling + separate large clumps with hands or comb
  • Finger coiling
  • Praying hands + scrunch

Bounce Curl Volume EdgeLift Brush
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#5 Microplop + add extra hold

Just like in step #1, we want to reduce water weight. Take your towel and scrunch your hair gently to absorb the excess water and reduce your dry time.

This step is important if you styled soaking wet or if you plan to air dry, although I don’t recommend that and I’ll share why in the next step.

After microplopping, add in an extra layer of your gel or mousse. This will significantly increase your hold level because the hair is more dry.

You don’t need much, and I often like to mix my gel with water so I don’t apply too much. Scrunch it in gently over the surface so you don’t disturb the curl clumps.

#6 Diffuse instead of air dry

This is another one of the most important steps if your curls fall quickly.

Options:

  • Go straight to diffusing
  • Diffuse all the way or finish air drying after the curls set

Air drying will result in more elongated curls, whereas diffusing freezes the curls in place and sets your cast, reducing frizz.

The heat will also help to set the curl shape so it lasts longer.

You can plop your hair over a flat surface and then hover, or go straight to scrunching with your diffuser.

If you removed some water before diffusing, this should not take more than 30 minutes if you have a good diffuser.

I recommend the Curlsmith Defrizzion + XXL Diffuser because it dries the hair fast using less heat. There are air holes in the prongs of the diffuser head so the hair reaches the roots.

Get your hair as dry as you can to prevent the curls from falling. If you’re short on time, you could finish air drying.

Curlsmith Defrizzion Hair Dryer & XXL Diffuser
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#7 Set with hairspray, not oil (optional)

Usually after diffusing, people will use an oil to scrunch out the cast. However, oils are meant to soften the hair, and that’s what we want to avoid. Use your dry hands to scrunch out the cast.

If your roots are still feeling too silky and you’re not getting any volume, try misting a hairspray on them and shaking them out. This will provide grit and increase your hold.

You can use a water-based hairspray, or an aerosol spray on dry hair.

I like the Curlsmith Flawless Finish Flexible Hold Hairspray which is alcohol-free, so it’s not drying. I don’t have a drugstore option yet for hair spray since most of them are too drying for curls.

Curlsmith Flawless Finish Hairspray – Flexible Hold
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Final Results

Bonus tips from @SwavyCurlCourtney

Courtney was so kind as to provide us with a few tips and share an example of how her waves fall after wash day.

Leave your cast in as long as possible
After you finish diffusing, don’t scrunch out the cast yet! Let it sit as long as possible because it will hold your waves and curls in place.

Skip conditioner and use leave-in
If your hair gets weighed down very easily by conditioners, try replacing your conditioner with a lightweight leave-in. You can rinse it out, or leave it in. Then go straight to gel, mousse, or hairspray for maximum hold and longevity.

Check out @SwavyCurlCourtney for more wavy-curly tips, tutorials, and hair science fun!

Curl Coaching Client Example

If you’ve tried these tips, and your curls or waves are still not lasting, then I would love to meet with you in a curl coaching session so we can get to the bottom of it.

I wanted to share an example of a client I had recently that was struggling with the following:

  • Hair feels too soft and fuzzy
  • Can’t figure out if hair needs more moisture or if it’s over-moisturized.
  • Curls just don’t look good after day 1, despite trying everything

We walked through every step of her wash day routine together and I pointed out the tweaks she needed to make. After, I provided her a follow up guide with next-steps and what gel to use out of her current collection.

Here’s what she said:

Small Tweaks, Huge Transformation!
Gena’s knowledge is nothing short of amazing! She immediately identified the key issues with my hair routine and provided targeted advice that made a world of difference. Her suggestions were spot on, and I could see the transformation almost immediately. She understands curls in a way that goes beyond just surface-level tips; she tailors her advice to exactly what your hair needs. Thanks to her, my hair has never looked better, and I actually love my refresh days now! Gena’s expertise is truly unmatched. Read more testimonials

You can reach out to me by sending me a message on IG or Facebook with the word “coaching” or email info@genamarie.co to discuss if you’re a fit and which package you need.

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Gena Marie

Helping you better understand your naturally curly hair through easy-to-follow tutorials, science-based haircare tips, and problem-solving.

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